


Reality

by thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain



Category: The Gifted (TV 2017)
Genre: 1x12, But this is what I think went on in clarice's head during this scene, Clarice POV, F/M, Thunderblink, also retells the thunderblink history a bit, extraction, thunderblink kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 21:21:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14246004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain/pseuds/thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain
Summary: "Clarice never felt like she would belong anywhere. That was, until she met John Proudstar..."[The 1x12 Thunderblink kiss from Clarice's POV]





	Reality

**Author's Note:**

> I've been obsessed with them since 1x02 and with this scene since the ep aired. While the show is on hiatus, I decided to write this fic while I'm working on other ideas to satisfy my thunderblink needs.
> 
> To make this story flow well, I sort of summarized their entire season story arc in the exposition. Enjoy!

Clarice never felt like she would belong anywhere. That was, until she met John Proudstar.

When they first met, Clarice wasn't looking for a savior. Frankly, she was just looking to survive. After just escaping prison, all Clarice wanted was to be able to stay off the radar long enough to figure out what her next move would be. Once Lorna, Marcos and John found her, she had been forced to throw that plan out the window, but it was still about survival to her. First, surviving the Sentinels that were chasing them. Then, surviving her power malfunction, and trying to get her powers to work again.

She had enjoyed the time she spent with John, and enjoyed teasing him about his hippie talk even more. Even though he didn't necessarily help her fix her powers, like he wanted to, he gave her something she wasn't expecting; a friendship, and the possibility of something more, if she played her cards right. But like every other good thing in her life, it was taken away before she truly got the chance to enjoy it.

When Sonya used her powers on her, messing with her head and implanting fake memories, Clarice found it extremely hard to separate her real feelings from the new ones. She was drowning in a sea of her own emotions, so when she found out John knew and didn't tell her, she found herself latching onto the only feeling she knew was real. Anger

And if there was one thing Clarice Fong was good at, it was pushing people away.

So she left, expecting to put that chapter of her life firmly behind her. She wasn't expecting John to follow her, and find her so quickly. And when he apologized and offered to help her, she found herself forgiving him, if for no other reason than she needed his help. She told herself that she rejoined the Underground because of the things that she saw that day, but if she was truly being honest with herself, she had to admit that a small part stayed for John.

But then, once again, everything went to hell. Her and Sonya were captured, along with the Strucker kids, and in the end, Sonya was killed right in front of her. That was a scene that would traumatize her for the rest of her life, and John had been heartbroken. He had loved Sonya, despite the fact that he had tried to deny it to himself, and she had loved him too. They had agreed to put... whatever it was between them on hold for the time being, putting all their attention on Sentinel Services.

That's how they ended up working with the Frost sisters. The Frost sisters had come to them looking for backup, and in the end, their goals had aligned in an unusual way.

But one of them, she didn't know which sister it was, mentioned to John about her criminal past. She had hoped to keep that part of her life locked away. After all, she wasn't that person anymore. She was starting to learn what it meant to stand for something bigger than yourself, and to stand up with people that cared about her. It was something she had never had before, and she hadn't wanted to jeopardize it. She tried to explain this to John, but he didn't seem to care. She understood why; his own past had made loyalty and trust very important to him, and she had betrayed that trust. She knew that, but it didn't make it easier to accept how cold he was being to her.

But ever since they had left the Frost mansion, things had seemed a bit different. He wasn't acting as cold as before. She felt the urge to try to break the tension, but her own emotional barriers prevented her from doing that. Clarice had learned a long time ago that opening up just gave you more chances to get hurt. She forced herself to focus on the mission instead, and let the car drive pass slowly in awkward, tense silence.

Of course, Marcos had left them alone, going off on his own to make sure the perimeter was secure before they tried to break in. As she got out of the van, she saw John waiting for her, hovering between the cars with a look on his face that told her that he had something to say.

She didn't want to hear it, though. Clarice marched out the car, passing him and forcing herself to avoid his gaze, even as she felt it follow her.

"Alright, we're gonna make this quick," she started, making sure that her tone was all- business. She knew that she was imagining things, that he was still mad and didn't want to talk to her. She tried her best to pretend that that didn't sting.

"Hey," she heard him say, reaching out for her as he did so, but she ignored him as she kept running through the plan.

"I can get us past the guards onto that balcony." She turned to face him. "From there, you can take us to the elevators."

"Yeah, but I wanna say something first." John said, dismissing the details of the plan. It was unlike him; John was usually hyperfocused on their missions, making sure that every second went exactly as expected.

Clarice felt hope rising up in her chest, and she couldn't stop herself from thinking that the way he was looking at her was different, a good kind of different. She forced herself to shove those thoughts down as far as they could go. Hope only set you up for disappointment.

He sighed before he spoke again. "What you did earlier... When you stopped the Frost's from torturing that guy... That was the right thing to do."

Clarice nodded once, trying to ignore her disappointment.

"Okay," he continued, looking away briefly before his eyes were on her again. "I think maybe I was too hard on you earlier..."

Clarice cut him off before he could continue speaking. "No, you weren't." And she meant it. She knew that she had hurt him, and even if she had thought that keeping the secret was best, the look of sadness in his eyes when he found out had changed her mind. "I should have been more honest about my past."

"No," he interjected, slightly annoying her, but also catching her off guard. She pressed her lips together, forcing herself to hear her out. "No, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. What matters is who you are now."

She searched his eyes, trying to find the deeper meaning in his words. His gaze was intense, and it felt like he was looking into her soul, looking at her in a way that no one else had ever done before. It left her breathless.

"That you're one of us," he finished, nodding his head a bit as he spoke.

The words shocked her. She had never thought that she would be accepted anywhere, let alone that she would actually find a place where she belonged. But here she was, about to break into a secure building with a bunch of other mutants, and she found that there was no place that she would rather be than there with them. With him.

She truly was one of them.

She looked at him, her eyes asking a question that she was too scared to ask. The timing had always been wrong. Between everything that had happened with Sonya, the timing definitely still wasn't right, but it didn't seem to matter. It felt like the universe was giving her a sign, giving her this moment. She felt herself opening up for the first time, putting herself out there without saying a word.

The look John gave her sent electricity through her veins.

Her eyes shot down to her lips, asking herself one more time if she was really willing to risk this. Before she could think better of it, she grabbed the back of John's neck and slammed her lips onto his.

The feeling was like nothing she had ever experienced before. She told him everything she had been too scared to say with her kiss, and as he kissed her back, she could feel him returning all of her feelings. The thought made her mind dizzy.

She placed her hand on his chest as their lips slowly parted, still holding each other's gaze. One of his hands was cupping her cheek, and the other was on her waist, holding her close to him. As she looked back at him, trying to catch her breath and calm her racing heart, she couldn't stop herself from voicing the first thought that came to her mind.

If Clarice was being honest with herself, she had wanted to kiss John for a long time; probably even longer that she would like to admit. But between the false memories and the battles they were facing, she was scared that it wouldn't feel the way she hoped, that it wouldn't feel real. But now that she had done it, she had her answer.

"Now that felt real."

**Author's Note:**

> [I am also on Tumblr under the same name, thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain]


End file.
